Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
