Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
