the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
