found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
