At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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