I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
