Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Non-Jews are for practice
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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