So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I understand Curling. That high.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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