I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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