Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Randomize
