she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
