I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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