I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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