Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
