Pants 0. Shit 1.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
