names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
