he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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