so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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