Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up under a house in Key West
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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