If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would ride that face into the sunset
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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