so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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