so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
