i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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