put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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