Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
