my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
