she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
