Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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