Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
