my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
