There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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