Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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