apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
