Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
