Me too!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
