Dual....:-)
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
