My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
