How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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