we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I still have a little drunk in my system
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
