and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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