he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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