If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
