he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
