Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
