After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
