The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
