I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
