Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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