I think my fart just growled at me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
