You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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