The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
