I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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