What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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