You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
