Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
