my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
