3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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