I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
