I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
