whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
