it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my being single is dangerous.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
