My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
