so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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