Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
