yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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