As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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