Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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