my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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