Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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