Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
