I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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