I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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