I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
