...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize