do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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