I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
