guys are not supposed to queef...right?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
