he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
